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Sister Ann Regina : Rules of anti-satan etiquette

People come to me all the time asking for good advice about how to best deal with their everyday satan-related issues. I am here to give you the best tips for keeping satan at bay... Did you know that keeping a package of epsom salt handy will make satan run away? Did you know that if you wear spandex you're giving satan an open invitation to take over your soul? Read more below... If you have other questions, please send them to Sister Ann at rules@stopsatan.org

1. Do not eat chicken picante--this is the official meat product of satan!
2. Do not go near chicken picante--satan will try to tempt you through his meat
3. Do not wear anything black--this is the official color of satan!
4. Do not wear pvc, latex, lycra, spandex, fishnet, or liquid latex
5. Do not wear articles of clothing with more than one zipper
6. Do not go to Palm Springs with strangers
7. Do not look at spinning or flashing lights (especially strobe lights)
8. Do not capitalize 'satan' or any pronouns referring to him--even at the beginning of a sentence
9. Do not dial telephone numbers with 3 sixes in them--this will instantly dial satan's cell phone!
10. Do not use obscenities--this is the official tongue of satan!
11. Do not shop at the mall--only WalMart, JC Penny catalog, Lands End catalog & Sears
12. Do not go more than one week without annointing yourself, and your home, and your family, with epsom salt (satan hates epsom salt)


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